Ohium Merck Morsaphine

tech, a lot of school, and a little bit of french

i am not so techy (っ °Д °;)っ

There's so much to be done to migrate to Ubuntu. I'm not much of a tech person. Personally, I hate how mindless and egotistical the tech community is. Sure, that's where the big salaries lie, but not everything is about money. I'd also like to point to the stupid names the tech community give to their products like NodeJS or kernel or some combination of letters and numbers in a name. I seriously think the tech community consults the astronomy community to name their things, and astronomists cannot name anything. In ancient times, our stargazers gave names like Neptune or Mercury. Now, we have planets like MSH-478 or el-78. These aren't real planets; I'm just giving an example.

Although not a tech-savy person, I do like some of their tools. I love how simple Python is, and I've been thinking of pursing AI Alignment as my career. In a sense, I could merge philosophy (which I really love) with programming (which my father wants me to do) in AI Alignment. I'm just trying to approach a real career, one my family won't have any issues with.

broken dreams and life in general

I remember telling my parents a few months ago that I wanted to be a psychologist. I love how weird and unique humans are and was (and still am) in love with psychology. And, after doing so, I got called a pagole dactar, which means a 'doctor for the insane'. So instead I'm aiming to study something that mimics humans: AI. It's the most I can do at the moment. At the end of the day, my parents are the ones who fund my education, so I don't really have much of a say here.

I'm pretty sure what career path my father wants me to follow is something like this:

Do a BSc. Comp Sci abroad→ work in a tech company → start my own business → be a freakin millionaire.

Here's what I want:

Do a BSc. Comp Sci abroad (preferably in France, if my French gets well enough) → become a self-published author → move to a small town (again, preferably in France) → work in an AI research company/university → be comfortable

I don't really aim for money, but I know I need enough to survive, so I'm fine having enough to be comfortable. Living in Dhaka has shown me I hate and I mean really, really hate cities, so I want to live in a small or medium-sized town. I hate noise and love open spaces. I love nature and hate urbanism. Also, living in Florida has shown me the suburbs aren't really a paradise on Earth.

Okay, here's my problem with the suburbs: everything is too divided. Having one's workplace and home far away means long commutes. In car-heavy cultures like America, that means more carbon emissions and more roads needing to be built in place. And more roads mean more deforestation and less space for homes/workplaces. Honestly, I want a walkable commute. Not only would I get some fitness done with, but I just like walking in general.

Cities are too much for me, rural is too little for me, and the suburbs just suck. A small or medium-sized town meets most of my requirements, which are:

Yeah, yeah, I know such a town does have its cons. Like not enough jobs, a sense of isolation, less facilities, and a slower pace of life (I don't find the last one to be a con really; it's more of a pro for me—others, however, might not like it much). Towns don't have as much cultural diversity compared to cities; it's mostly a homogenous population. Life can be boring sometimes as well, since there's really just less to do. Less (or no) theaters, less clubs or bars, less stuff in general. Simple things like getting a visa renewal or opening a bank account would mean a few hours drive to the city. And that's just ... no.

One would also be at the risk of being too far away from a hospital at times of need. This con can be life-ending in certain circumstances. But, honestly, I have had enough of cities. Yeah, I know towns aren't a paradise on Earth, but I can't know if I don't try, right? One must always risk things to achieve brilliance.

I'd try to live in the Bangladesh town-side if I could, but nothing's safe here. I really mean that. Everywhere here has crime. Besides the nation isn't a politically stable one nor is it a comfortable one in any regards. If I really think about it, Bangladesh has nothing going for it, except the food, but I'm not really a foodie. So, yeah, for me at least, Bangladesh has noting going for it.

cute francaise (✿◕‿◕✿)

I've been thinking of living in a French town, because I'd recently found a cute little channel in YouTube about a woman's life living there. It's called petits moments My French is just good enough to tell you the title translates to 'small moments' in English, but you would Google that wouldn't you?

others things and ... school

Anyways, I've just gotten a new mouse, and I have to say, why the hell did I have to go through so many damn instructions? Not only did it have a terrible name like all tech products, but it was bulky and ... I don't know the shape was just too capitalistic for me. But, it was what I could find, and I'll have to stay content with that, just like how I have to stay content with my predetermined Bachelors option. Sometimes, freedom can be limiting, and other times it can be, well freeing like the word suggests.

I'm not sure how many of my readers like my fragmented sense of writing. Does it make you uncomfortable? Well, I hope not, because this is the only way I can manage to write everyday. Writing isn't my job; I'm a student, so I need to study annoying stuff that'll probably never have any use in the future. Like, could someone please tell me how learning the Born-Haber cycle can help me? I'm not interested in being a chemical engineer.

hmm, back to school

Being a student means I don't have a lotta free time, because I need to study, but truth be told, I don't study much. I love learning, and I mean I freakin love learning, but I don't like school. School, I believe, is all about chasing the highest grades (or what we call marks from where I come from). After school, there is university where students chase the highest GPA and waste their life on meaningless things. Then those students shift to the job market where they're taught to change their mindset from chasing grades to chasing money. Then after spending all their adult years chasing money, they go into retirement and wait to die. That's how society makes us live. Like rats.

The most important thing we should teach our students is not the pursuit of grades/marks, it should be the pursuit of knowledge. We should imbue them with an interminable curiosity. Our civilization did not progress because our greatest minds were chasing grades; they were chasing knowledge. They were curious and that makes the difference between an academic genius and a true genius.

Of course, no one will listen to me if I tell them this. If I give a sermon about this at school, I'd be a laughingstock. A humiliation and pariah of my social circle. This is how we—and I say we, because we have all contributed to this—teach our students to live and be: Chase grades, then chase money.

I had this in my head when I spoke to a friend as we were walking up the stairs. We'd both gotten caught for apparently long nails for the morning assembly. Honestly, I have nothing to say about that. Anyhow, we had a short discussion about the nature of school and what I'd just discussed above. We had to keep it short, because there were a lot of people who had disciplinary 'issues' at the morning assembly. Mainly, long hair and normal-sized nails. Our school likes to see buzzcuts and nails so short the flesh beneath it reveals itself. Unfortunately, having such short nails hurts my fingers and risks it to infection. That's why I keep it normal, like how normal people are supposed to keep it. It just goes to show the ones in authority aren't always the most knowledgeable. They're quite stupid, actually.

Thnx for reading (ﾉ*ФωФ)ﾉ.