diary notes #7
august 30th
I woke up late today. Really late. Two hours. I know it doesn't sound much but it's a real big factor to me. Just because I'd overslept for two hours today, I was sick in the morning. My nose was runny, and I kept having cough droppings. Just two hours and my body starts all working up. Even though it's a weekend day, I still need to wake up at my usual early rising time. My body demands it.
Since I was feeling so unwell during the morning, I decided to have some fun instead of doing work. I binge-read some of Howl's Moving Castle, like about ten chapters at once or something. It's quite a lovely novel and far different than the movie. I sorta like it. I have a special place in my heart for the plot, because the anime version is my favorite Studio Ghibli film.
Something about the romance in the film and the quiet fantasy vibes draws me in. It feels so peaceful. And Sophie and Howl look so cute together! I loved the ending scene where we saw the Castle flying amongst the clouds away from the soon-to-be-warring country, with Sophie in a nice yellow dress and Howl in his usual wizardry attire finally embracing a kiss in the balcony as the rest of the characters enjoyed themselves somewhere else. The redeemed villain, the Witch of the Waste, was chilling while the boy-assistant played with the sweet and old dog. And can I just say that Joe Hisashi did a great job in making that music score? Because he really did. Brings me to tears whenever I listen to it.
Anyways, watch the damn movie when you have the time. Watch The Boy and the Heron, Spirited Away and maybe Narcissa: Valley of the Wind as well. They're good films but still not good as Howl.
august 31st
I'm writing this as I am currently now doing online class. Yeah, I think I've hit the final level of hating school. Anyways, let's talk, shall we?
I woke up an hour late tonight, and am freakin feeling awful. Damn. And I'm in a terrible mood as well. As well with all the terrible living conditions and QoL (Quality of Life) here, I can just say I'm not having a good day today.
Everything feels so boring; I'm nearly disinterested in everything. I want to be an AI Alignment researcher in the future, but I can barely code. I hate school, I hate living, and generally I hate being bored although I am bored most of the time nowadays. I think it's because of all the dopamine withdrawal symptoms or something. I just feel like nothing, and along with my physical illness at the moment, I'm not happy at all.
One must know that everything in life is a distraction from the fact that life is really, really damn boring. Like, a human can get by with very few things. Just give them like rice and water and they'll stay alive. The body is a great machine of self-preservation. A human doesn't need a fancy app, or sex, or huge amounts of money. A human can survive on very little, because as a species, we just continue. We live. We strive to live, despite all the odds and difficulties. Despite the meaninglessness of the absurd, we laugh like Sisyphus and roll the bolder upwards the hill. This is life! This is the great human! That said, we're still very stupid.
Yeesh, I hope this optimism gets rid of my mild cold.
september 1st
Well, guess what? I woke up late again today. Well, thankfully my mild cold went away at least. Anyways, I'm sorta tired today; I don't really want to do much today. I guess I'll talk about my recent passions then.
I want to have another blog. This one is nice, of course, but it's personal and not really useful. I was thinking of starting my own research blog at GitHub Pages through Pelican to create my own website/blog that I'll have full control of. Yeah, I could also just post my research crap in other platforms, especially social media ones, but I want to own my own stuff. And like I don't really care about viewership so social media is a big no.
There's a big problem, however. I need to use my Python coding skills to use Pelican and oh boy, I haven't coded for like two years. Well, I've always wanted to code more Python but I keep forgetting about it. I also searched the web on how to be addicted to coding. The only useful things I got out of my search was: the codeforces problemset, idea on using coding to solve some practical problems in my laptop, and the idea I should go wherever my curiosity leads me.
Anyways, let's see where my coding journey leads me. My research blog, if you're wondering, is meant to be more computer science stuff with AI crap and technical details stuffed in it. I think it'd be a nice thing to have to be hired as an AI Alignment researcher. Ah, look at me planning ahead. I'm still in high school and am making plans on how to get a job!
I've also been trying to reduce the number of things I do in my laptop, so I can have a more modest and simpler digital life. Let's see where that leads us! Still trying to be a digital minimalist, you see.