diary notes #3
august 9th
Having your main computer be a virtual machine is not fun. I mean it. My laptop runs Windows OS, but I use Ubuntu on Oracle Virtual Box more, and I swear to God, I've gotten sick of it. I've had to reboot the VM at least three times today and it's not even late afternoon yet! My God. But I hate Windows and due to very current circumstances I have to let my laptop run Windows OS. When I do get the chance, God-willing, I will delete every trace of Windows from my laptop and replace it with Ubuntu.
You might ask: why Ubuntu? Well, why not? It's more stable, minimalist, easier on older computers (mine is an old man already), doesn't force you to update every damn week, less capitalistic, and privacy-focused. I can literally customize Ubuntu to my will, if I wanted to, but I like the default look with a few tweaks and notches.
I've done a summary of my laptop battery today. For it to go from one-hundred-percent to ten-percent, I only need seventy minutes. Only seventy minutes. I bought this laptop with quite a lot of money and hard work (I had to cry on front of my father to get it; I'm not proud of my past self), and it has not aged well. Just half a decade later, and I'm sick of it, but I haven't let my father know because he won't be really happy about such a thing. He did tell me this is the only laptop he'll ever buy me, and I'm too young at the moment to make enough money to buy a laptop. What a tragedy.
I'm a bit worried fully switching to Ubuntu might kill my laptop, but life requires a little bit (or maybe a lot) of risk. I've learnt from experience to never trod backwards, but instead only onward. You can learn a few things from having a shitty computer.
august 10th
Aha! I have a solution to my fear of losing Windows: dual-booting but only leting Windows have just a bit of space in my computer. Like I'm aiming for ninety-percent Ubuntu and ten-percent Windows. Windows usage, I hope, will be very less. Anyways...
One of my teachers at school said the phrase (I'm translating this from Bengali because his English is, no offense, terrible; I have no idea how he got a job at an English-speaking school): "No one in this world is privileged".
Yeah, I have to vehemently disagree. Some people are born with health, some are born with looks, and some are born with wealth. The world is different for everyone, and it treats everyone differently. There are many people in this world who are privileged. Look at the nepotists, to the 'higher' social class, to the 'higher' race. This world is unfair and there's nothing we, the ones at the bottom end, can do.
In my country, if you have lighter skin and are a man, you are treated much differently than a dark-skinned woman. If you are non-Muslim, you will be made fun of your faith here. If you are rich, you will be treated with respect. That's the norm here. What a tragedy I must say.
So, my pathetic excuse of an A levels chemistry teacher is wrong. This world does have privileged people. We just aren't allowed to talk about them. Like how we're not supposed to not talk about abortion, or the Israel-Palestine crisis, or American imperialism. There's only freedom of speech in certain things, not everything.
august 11th
I have discovered a new passion in life: annoying the hell out of my teachers with questions. I don't mean just normal questions. I mean really hard questions, so they hate me. I don't know but I just like annoying them and sapping their entire energy. Hey, I'm forced by these people to go to school, so I might as well get some revenge against them, anyways...
I don't have internet at the moment as I write this, so I'm not happy. Like, what the hell is the use of a computer without internet? What am I supposed to do? Draw? Write? I'm sure we all know that we spend most of our time on our computers looking at a browser. Let that be common knowledge.
Speaking of browsers, I've been trying Firefox recently, and I must say it's quite nice. Much smoother than stupid Edge and faster and less bulky than Chrome. My God, I've tried quite a lot of browsers haven't I?
I'm still trying to dual-boot Ubuntu on my laptop. God knows how long it'll take. I just hope everything doesn't get erased on my Windows OS, because that won't be nice. Like I have a lot of stuff stored here. I'll have to back-up my data, I know, but it's such a hassle to upload one's entire data. I'm lazy.
Speaking of lazy, I must say that I am against naps of all kinds in one's routine. Naps should be banned for me, because whenever I nap, I fall asleep for three hours. And when I do that, there goes my ten pm bedtime. I'll still have to go to bed at ten pm, of course, but I'll have to just lie on my bed, thinking. Not being able to fall asleep is one of the harshest things life can afflict on you. It's a terrible destiny.
I've been trying to think more things in a philosophical tone nowadays. I feel some parts of myself shrink, and others break away while new segments are added to my personality. I've been acting differently nowadays. No longer shy, but still quiet. A but rude, but nice whenever I want to. I doubt if I am still the same person a month, a year, or a decade ago. Am I? If not, then who is my past self if I am not my past self?